jarnscye: (Default)
jarnscye ([personal profile] jarnscye) wrote in [community profile] quimplix2012-04-08 09:25 pm

[shinee] from start to finish

from start to finish
onew/jonghyun; pg-13.
ficlet; 482 words.

The confession comes short and simple, quiet under the loud shouts of the staff members, the cheering of the crowd, and instructions of their manager, though to be honest, they’re not paying any attention to it.

“It’s just that I’m the leader,” Jinki breathes and tries not to collapse. This isn’t a conversation he’d like to be having backstage, minutes after their performance, but he can’t seem to make himself shut up. “I’m the leader,” he says again.

“And I’m the bling bling vocalist extraordinaire.” Jonghyun grins. “Is this what you’ve been so nervous about, hyung?”

Jinki clenches his hands and tries to remain calm. “This is no time to be fucking around,” he says. “I’m going to say this one more time since I don’t think you got it. I like you, Jonghyun. As in a more than brotherly or bandmate kind of way. And I’m really sorry, but I do.”

He’s grabbed by the shoulders before he can even think, and Jonghyun’s pulling them into a corner of the room where they can’t be seen or heard—something Jinki should have thought of doing this first before he went and blurted out things he wasn’t supposed to say. But then Jonghyun’s breath is right next to his ear and Jinki can feel the sweat from dancing not ten minutes ago on Jonghyun’s skin and he closes his eyes.

“Why are you apologizing?” he hears Jonghyun say, voice pounding in Jinki’s head and threatening to overwhelm him. “I think it’s pretty brilliant that you do, since I like you, too.”

Jonghyun’s lips are sticky against Jinki’s, so much gloss applied that it tastes horrid, but it’s okay. Jinki doesn’t really mind.

The dorm is quiet when they break up, since they’re the only ones without individual schedules these days. This should have brought them closer, allowing them to be happy without the fear of Minho waking up in the middle of the night and noticing Jonghyun gone, or of Key and Taemin just turning around and catching them sneaking a kiss in the middle of chaos.

It should have, but the silence only reminds Jinki of how this is the only time they have, and when he traces Jonghyun’s arm with his hand, it’s only painful.

“It’s just that I’m the leader,” Jinki mumbles, as much as he tries to stay strong and clear.

“Yeah,” Jonghyun says. He stabs a piece of meat from the food they’d ordered, and his chopstick breaks in his hand.

“We can’t risk it,” he tries.

“I know, hyung. You can stop talking now.”

So Jinki puts his chopsticks down and lets his food go cold. It’s okay, he’s not very hungry anymore.

thank you to [personal profile] kordella for going over this, you're amazing as always. ♥

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